James gives this unnamed person 21 homers and 19 steals. ZiPS gives someone else, who I’ll leave unnamed for right now, 20 homers and 19 steals. If you wanna bring me into the equation, I give Prado 85/12/60/.300/5. But for s’s and g’s, let’s take me out of the equation. I have him ranked at 272 in my top 3 fantasy baseball and I’d be kinda hesitant even if he fell to me there. On Berry’s personal rankings, he has Prado at 57. Then you’ll be like, “Now I’m feeling lonely…My mind is playing tricks on me…”Īnother one that has me investigating the joint for traps and checking my telephone for taps is Martin Prado at 80 overall. If he has a sore hamstring, it’s not like he can limp to the plate and continue to give you value like he’s Roy Hobbs. Crawford gives you most of his value with his legs.
What does this tell us besides steroids can be tested for but Red Bull can’t? It tells us there’s a shizzload of steals in the outfield. There were 13 outfielders with 30 steals. There were 4 outfielders last year that had 30 homers. Carl Crawford is ranked 3rd overall! Some might say “Take a chill, B.” But let’s go with what we know. What I saw next will make your ass start giggling. I keep looking over my shoulder and peeping around corners… My mind is playin’ tricks on me. Maybe they play in a league where his resemblance to k.d. Al Caps so early in the preseason but WHAT POSITIVES? His last month? I want a little more if I’m drafting someone 17th overall. They then say, “The positives continue to outweigh the negatives, so bank on another elite season coming.” What positives? Not to bring out Mr. Do they even look at his falling K-rate? Or his loss of velocity? Or how much he threw his slider? Or that 19 start stretch last year when he had a 4.80 ERA and 1.56 WHIP? Well, actually they talk about all of that. Why is he suddenly going to post career best numbers? It’s messed up when your mind is playin’ tricks on you… I understand he will have 3rd base eligibility. Yeah, hitters don’t need those hand things.” And that’s me quoting me! Prince Fielder’s another one that’s ranked too low (26th) and after Youuuuuuk. sarcasm Oh, and Youuuuuuk had a torn muscle in his hand last year. So that Youuuuuuk pick way ahead of Howard makes total sense. Youuuuuuk has only topped 99 runs once in his career. Has averaged 136 RBIs and 99 runs in those five years. 279 hitter who has averaged 45.8 homers in the last five years. Let me just quote something real quick, “Howard’s a career. When I went over the ESPN mock draft earlier this month, I covered a lot of this. What’s the world coming to?! Has anyone seen the size of Howard’s mollywhoppers or his stadium that has dwarfism like Bushwick Bill? They also have Youuuuuuk ten spots ahead at 20th overall. How is Ryan Howard ranked 30th?! I feel like De Niro watching Spider talk back to Pesci. Since I was about to spit fire, it felt appropriate that I sat alone in my four-cornered room staring at candles.
Granted, because the song is long, it probably only played three times. When I wrote this post, I was listening to Geto Boys’ Mind Is Playing Tricks On Me on repeat.
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